wrigley field is MILF paradise
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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