hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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