Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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