Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
