if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize