There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize