I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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