I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
