whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
