It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
