you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
