By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
