Non-Jews are for practice
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
