I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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