Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
