Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
