Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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