wanna go halves on a baby?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
