You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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