dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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