I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
