I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
