haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
