it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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