plz talk dirty to me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
