I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I intend to get homeless drunk
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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