careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he fucked my hip out of place.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
