My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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