I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You are the jesus of drinking
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
