***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
