honey bunches of taint.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
MIDGETS
????
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
