He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
