I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
