She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I know her cup size but not her name....
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