I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
