I want to stick my p in your. b.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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