That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
