Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
