He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
