I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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