I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
