My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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