Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
