I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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