The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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