It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
