so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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