Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
