oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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