Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sorry about my life...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
