terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
