Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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