your parents love me but you hate me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
