Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Pooping to opera.
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