i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
