i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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