I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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