Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize